Suprise, right? I mean who in the world wouldn’t want to get a cold? Who wouldn’t want the sniffly nose, the breathing issues like a fat opera singer is sitting on your chest belting out an aria from some obscure 18th century German opera? Well, me for one. I wouldn’t want that. However one can’t always choose, right?
Since my recent kidney transplant I find that I have super powers and glow in the dark. Not really, I don’t have any super powers. As to the glowing in the dark deal…I’m asleep generally in the dark so I may very well glow. So I’ve talked with the Transplant Center and yes, they’ve told me that because of the anti-rejection drugs that my immune system is that of a 90 year old chain smoking, syphilitic hooker from Beijing.
According ot Web M.D. we all have cancer of the pancreas, or some foreign disease with an unpronouncable name and pretty much the entire United States is rife with flu and cold and herpes. I don’t really know about herpes because I didn’t really search for that but who knows? Maybe these randy kids are spreading it around like free $20 bills.
I’m attempting to treat this ailment with liberal applications of wine, aspirin and um…wine.